✍️✍️✍️ Personal Narrative: Gofers Society For Creative Anachronism

Thursday, December 30, 2021 10:06:08 PM

Personal Narrative: Gofers Society For Creative Anachronism

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Society for Creative Anachronism

College types don't understand me. Carla: Hey, look, uh, Whitey—I'm sorry. I know I can be a real pain , sometimes Diane: And I know, that—I take things a little too seriously , at times. I guess I need to be reminded of that. Carla: Well—I'll always be there for ya! Pause] Carla: [Hesitates; shrugs] You're all right. Diane: Fine! Carla: [ Beat ] I'll get back to ya Rebecca: What's Anthony doing? Frasier: It took all afternoon, but I finally washed off all of Carla's phone number in the men's bathroom.

Carla: [Appalled] Would you mind your own business?! Norm: OW! That really hurt, y'know? Carla: Good. Then I haven't lived in vain. Sam: Diane! Diane: Yes, Sam? Diane: Sam, I have to ask you a question. Promise me you won't make a joke out of it. Sam: Yeah, I promise. What's up? Diane: Do you think I'm crazy? Sam: Yes. Diane: Ha! Now that we've gotten the joke over, will you please help me? This is a strange question, but it's important. Do you think I'm crazy? Sam: Where ya goin', Coach? Coach: To toss my cookies. Sam: shrugging Bartender's intuition. Sam: on phone with Diane Oh, hi, Diane. Why aren't you here? Are you sick or something? Oh, well, you sound all stuffed up. Well, I hope you feel better.

Norm: What's the matter with her? Sam: She said she's got this allergy where you weep uncontrollably. Diane: Well, she was the only one in my life who was always there When everybody else was mad at me, she always liked me And then, um It was Believe it or not, I actually thought about throwing myself in the lake. But then I And I know it's crazy , and it's irrational , but Diane: utterly defeated You win, Sam.

I've struggled so hard for so long to keep my dreams alive, and I haven't fooled anyone but myself. I know all along you all considered me a pretentious, self-deluded windbag and apparently, you've all been right. I'm never going to be Diane Chambers, the great poet, the world-famous novelist, the revered artist. I've gone as high as I'm going to go. I'm a waitress in a beer hall Beat A waitress Carla: Why do you all keep coming over here? Sam: We're trying to cheer you up. Carla: Well, stop it! You can't cheer me up. Why do people think they always have to rush over a-and talk somebody out of it when they're feeling lousy? There's nothing any of you guys could do. Beat Unless you can make me 15 again.

Beat Can any of you make me 15 again? Beat Well, can you? Just just leave me alone. On Sam and Diane's feelings toward each other, in front of Diane's mother. Carla: Admit it, he's got you steaming under the silks! Diane: Bolts up; clearly counts to ten This happens to be my mother! Call-Back : In one episode Sam pays a random bar patron to be Diane's blind date, and he turns out to be a convicted murderer. A few episodes later, the man returns and holds up the bar because no one will hire an ex-con.

Diane helps him follow his dream of being an actor and he falls for her, but then he sees her kiss Sam and tries to kill her. Two episodes eight seasons apart focus on the Miss Boston Barmaid contest Diane wins in Season 1 and Carla finishes second in Season 9. Practically a Bookend, they were separated by so many years, in the show's second episode, a patron rushes into the bar and pleads with Coach to let him talk to "Gus," to which Coach tells him to go back "two owners ago.

A reference to Coach is even made. William J. See also Politician Guest Star below. Sam says that he sees something new every time he looks at it. That phrase that you threw around so casually is now impossible for you to say! I matter. Diane: Sam can't say he loves me! Carla: rolling her eyes Who can? Frasier : You know, I'm going to suffer for this tomorrow, but today, right now, at this exact moment, I'm the happiest man on Earth.

Cliff: Uh oh, looks like Woody's babes are comin' to blows. Kelly: You get outta my way right now or, so help me God, I'll I'll hurt your feelings. Emily: You do that and I'll hurt yours right back. Frasier: Kitten fight. Bar: [disappointed] Kitten fight. Kitten fight. Diane: Doctor, there's still one thing you haven't considered Simon Finch-Royce: Ok.

You two are I'm sorry I made a mistake before but you are the most perfectly matched couple ever. But, why am I telling this to you? Let's share it with the rest of the world. The rest of you can stop getting married—it's been done to perfection! Wait a moment, let me get this on record— [speaking into tape recorder] "I, Dr. Simon Finch-Royce, being of sound mind and body, declare that Sam and Diane shall be happy together throughout all eternity, and if I am wrong I hereby promise that I will take my own life in the most disgusting manner possible! Diane: [long pause, then grins at Sam] See? The viewer figures out that it's Sam's fantasy right around the time Diane says Sam can keep dating other women.

Deadpan Snarker : Carla mostly, but Diane and Norm both enjoy getting their shots in. Discontinued after Shelley Long's departure; although Kirstie Alley was cast as the new female lead, she was given a separate title card after Danson's. Did You Just Have Sex? Sam realizes that Woody is acting just like he does when he has sex. It becomes a problem later on, as the couple is so eager to get back to lovemaking that the gang has to keep them separated before the wedding. Dine and Dash : The episode "Young Dr.

Weinstein" ends with Sam Malone trying to run out on a check at a fancy, ultra-exclusive restaurant. He has secured a reservation there and eaten a meal while pretending to be someone else, but when it comes time to settle the bill, he attempts to pay with either a credit card or check with his own name on it, which the restaurant won't accept. Sam : Oh, well, why don't you, uh, put it on this credit card anyway, and I'll take this Malone guy out to dinner some other time, hmm? Sam : Well, all right, I don't suppose you take a personal check, do you?

Sam : Okay, well, uh, why don't we try this, then? Oh, my God, look at the size of that cat! Early Installment Weirdness : In the first few episodes, Carla repeatedly refers to herself as a "Tortelli woman," as though she were born into the Tortelli family. Later episodes would establish that Tortelli is actually her married name, and that her maiden name was Lozupone. Norm and Cliff don't appear to really be best friends in earliest episodes.

They're never shown sitting together, and Norm acts annoyed when Cliff does his first "It's a little known fact" spiel in the pilot. It isn't until the 5th episode, "Coach's Daughter", that shows them sitting together, and appearing friendly, save for a moment when Cliff insults Coach, and Norm shoots him a disgusted look. Earworm : "The Heart is a Lonely Snipehunter" has people in the bar singing "The Sunny Side of the Street", passing from person to person, even as one patron walks out. The next person who enters is also singing it, and passes it on to Coach. Easily Forgiven : In the episode where Nick gets dumped by Loretta and wants Carla back, everyone else in the bar seems willing to forgive him for all his deplorable behavior just because he continues to talk about Carla, and has been working hard doing odd jobs in the bar for a while.

Even Diane, who found Nick disgusting before then, seems to think he has legitimately changed although this wouldn't be the first time she's been willing to give someone a chance that maybe she shouldn't have, such as Andy-Andy. Every previous appearance of Nick's showed him flaunting his infidelity, selfishness and manipulations in full view of the others—even to the point of trying to take one of Carla's kids to give to his new wife in one of the episodes, and the major point of it was that Carla was able to overcome his influence in order to get her son back.

Averted by Carla herself, who refuses to accept that he has changed until everyone else gets on her case about it. When she finally caves, his other wife comes back to him, and after telling her he doesn't want her back, convincing Carla, he realizes it wasn't a test and gives an excuse about having a sudden disease that needs cured, leaving Carla and proving her right. Dave Richards, who manipulates Sam and Diane quite a bit in "Old Flames"; the next time he "appears" as a voice-over over the radio in "Love Thy Neighbor", as he interviews Sam on-air , Sam's on perfectly good terms with him. Diane in Season 5; after driving Sam to the breaking point by waffling on all three of his marriage proposals one of which she made him put a lot of expense into to make it romantic, he snaps and chases her out of the bar.

She leaves unscathed, but then charges him with assault and battery purely as a means to subject their relationship to the scrutiny of a courtroom, complete with faking serious injuries to gain more sympathy. At the end of it Sam is forced to propose to her one more time or else face jail time a proposal which Diane says only later that she won't hold him to. By the end of it, Sam has been humiliated and put through an emotional wringer, and yet he turns around and sincerely tries to marry Diane anyway. Because he loves her. Eerie Pale-Skinned Brunette : Lilith is one of these. Her incredibly pale skin and dark ensemble is used to show how socially removed she is from the rest of the characters.

Eight Deadly Words : Invoked by Diane when she tried to prove Frasier and Lilith's hateful jabs at each other were masking attraction by bringing up Wiesel's quote, "The opposite of love is not hate. It's indifference. Either "World Domination", or Something About Bananas : Eddie Lebec's French mother doesn't approve of him marrying Carla, and expresses her displeasure in her native tongue. Frasier reluctantly offers a translation. Frasier: She said she'll never allow this marriage, especially to a pregnant hussy who's only trying to trap her son. Then she said that she'd rather be dragged around town by her tongue, or else she called you a small grapefruit. Diane: [Dictating] "I love you, Diane I've always loved you—and I always will, to the day I die.

Coach: [After answering the phone] Is there an Ernie Pantuso here? Sam: That's you, Coach. Coach: [To phone] Speaking! Let's not jump to any wild conclusions here. Let's just look at the facts. Now, all we really know is that Robin is using my secret password to break into my corporation's confidential files, and from the date on these, well it looks like he's been doing it since, well since the day after we first slept together.

The Faceless : Norm's wife Vera. Also, his horny niece Donna. Eddie—once a Bruin, later a Penguin in the Ice Capades. After getting fired by the Lillian Corporation, Rebecca takes a demeaning job doing demonstrations at an auto show. Eventually Sam brings her back on as manager of Cheers. At the end of the episode Robin makes his first of many appearances. She says she felt the baby kick and the gang goes over to feel for it. Woody says that he heard it move, but Frasier tells them that it was his own indigestion.

Woody then feels his tummy and the others join in. Feigning Intelligence : Cliff often drops random "facts" of questionable value. However, he does sometimes add something intelligent to the conversation. Rebecca has no idea how to run a bar and refuses to admit it. Fidelity Test : An interesting spin on this happens in Season Five's "One Last Fling" where Diane suggests she and Sam both have one day to indulge themselves in "oat-sowing. Diane recuts the movie into a bizarre art film before sending it. Woody: Hey, Sam.

I was in the dining room earlier and I was wondering something. Why do the table settings have two forks? Sam: Well, I guess that's in case you drop your fork, then you have a spare. Sam: Well, I guess in case you drop that one, it doesn't make as much noise. Gainax Ending : The series has many. Perhaps the most famous and heartbreaking is the end of "Dark Imaginings. However, when he finds out the young woman visiting the fellow patient is the patient's daughter, and she calls him " sir ", Sam is rocked.

The final shot is of Sam sitting at a window watching the rain, realizing that although he's not an old man, time is slipping away for him, and he has nothing to show for it. The conclusion of the second season has Sam and Diane fighting over her having obnoxious artist Philip Semenko Christopher Lloyd paint a portrait of her. Sam even threatens to destroy the painting sight unseen. They end up physically fighting, but instead of a Slap-Slap-Kiss , Diane decides that they're too combative to be a couple, and announces she's leaving Cheers—and does so.

Sam angrily rips off the cover of the canvas to see the picture, which is a Pablo Picasso-like abstract representation of Diane. Philip predicted there would be no way that Sam could appreciate the non-traditional portrait, but instead, Sam gazes at it, and makes a breathy, awed, "Wow. Credits Roll. The series finale leaves us wondering just what Sam's true love is, although it's implied to be the bar.

The show was even responsible for some Defictionalization : anytime a contestant blows an automatic win during Final Jeopardy! One is called "An Open Grave. When Carla gives a shocking "reveal" that Sam is the father of her youngest kid She later turns out to have made this up, of course , poor Diane grabs the pitcher and chugs it down to calm herself , with Carla looking on wide-eyed: Diane: [Distraught] Carla, I don't believe this. Carla: Me neither. You're gonna die! Sam: Hey there, Frasier. Frasier: I'm sorry, Sam. Your friend Frasier is dead. What you're looking at is his undead corpse. Nick: I'm going out for some cigarettes! Carla: You don't smoke! Nick: I've been thinking about starting! I've heard good things! Sam: It was Diane: [warm smile] It was wonderful.

Sam: Yeah — I think we gave new meaning to the word "cookin'! Sam: Hey — I came pretty darn close a couple times — didn't I? Diane: [laughing] That's not what I meant You were wonderful. Sam: Yeah, you were pretty wonderful, yourself. Diane: It can be so wonderful, can't it, Sam? Sam: You bet. Sam: This intellectual stuff's getting me all hot Woody: Miss Chambers, can I tell you something? Diane: Sure, Woody! Woody: [Nervous smile] You look like a hundred bucks! Diane: [Chuckles] Thank you, Woody! Woody: Aw, what am I saying— two hundred!

Diane: [Cooing] Woody , you're turning my head! Woody: Ah-all right—one hundred Norm: Anybody else curious about [Woody's hometown in Indiana] Hanover? Frasier: Oh I'm sure it's just a nice, regular rural town in the Midwest. Norm: Ever thought about visiting there? Frasier: And end up being sacrificed to the "Corn God"?! No way! I Can Change My Beloved : Both Sam and Diane had this attitude toward each other, which was one of the biggest problems with their relationship. Sam kept trying to get Diane to be less stuck-up and pretentious while Diane kept expecting Sam to grow out of his simpler interests like Three Stooges and sports, and both resented the other's attitude. Unlike most examples, they did try and compromise on this and meet each other in the middle Diane started taking a mild interest in sports, Sam once binge-read War And Peace in five days so he and Diane would have something to talk about , but tragically, neither one of them was ever satisfied with the others' efforts and always demanded more.

Sam is concerned she might not come back, to which Diane smilingly says, "I won't Then Norm says "I don't remember what he had. In Season 10's "Go Make" Sam and Rebecca both have unhappy visions of their life as parents in a loveless relationship, leading them to decide not to have a baby. In a more heartbreaking moment, Sam sees his imaginary son vanishing when he and Rebecca break off the plans. His fantasy doesn't end well. In Season 5's episode "Chambers vs. Malone," after Diane turns down Sam's proposal after hounding him to propose all season , Sam gets a brief flash of being walked down Death Row to the electric chair after murdering her. Sam: I just had a flash that I got the electric chair for killing you.

Diane: Well, that's silly. Massachusetts doesn't have a death penalty. Sam: What? Diane: Oh, Sam I'm— small , and vain —and petty! Sam: Hey, will you stop being so hard on yourself? I mean— that's my job, here. Woody: Darth Vader can't be Luke Skywalker's father. They don't even have the same last name! Diane: Thank God the number isn't right! Carla: I got it right off your application! If they'd just gotten together and shot Gilligan, they'd have been off that island in a week.

Also a few "Bar Wars" episodes. Then there's "Pick a Con Any Con", in which Harry is called in to deal with another con man grifting Coach, which turns into long con piled on long con. Kavorka Man : Loathesome Nick Tortelli sure has a way with women—he even makes Diane weak in the knees by whispering into her ear. Carla to Annie : There are three things you can say about Tortelli men. One, they draw women like flies. Two, they treat women like flies. Three, their brains are in their flies. The short, rotund, balding, bespectacled Paul apparently does okay, too. In Season 9's "Rat Girl," a young woman turns Sam down twice. She leaves with Paul. Sam : I know a guy who knows a guy Woody : And he's a bookie?

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